People I Consider Enemies

by Curry
January 22nd, 2007

The guy at work who pulls his pants all the way down to his ankles at the urinal, then stares at me.

The Boy Scouts of America.

The lady who brings 30 damn items to the express lane at the grocery store, and refuses to drop dead when I give her withering looks.

Old people.

Lex Luthor.

The lady who gives me withering looks for bringing 30 items to the express lane at the grocery store.

Bob Barker.

Zombies.

Lynch mobs, particularly if I have recently rustled cattle.

Whoever keeps sending me emails titled "hey bud why your dong so tiny."

Chevy Chase Bank.

Peanuts wussiest kid, Linus.

Also, that bitch Peppermint Patty.

Now that I think of it, I'm going to include the entirety of the Peanuts cast, minus that one weird dog who lives in a cactus, cuz that guy has problems enough without being my enemy.

People who call in their vote for American Idol.

Rachel Ray.

The Earl of Sandwich, because what the fuck dude?  No one is that busy.  Keep your damn bread off the meat.

Hobos.

The entire population of Paraguay.

Steve Alford

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